We're taught that unconditional love is the key a successful relationship. You have to go all-in, or risk losing them. However, unconditional love is most often a set up for failure. Having standards and boundaries for life and love is normal, not limiting. If you have no conditions on how someone is allowed to treat you, that means they can do anything, and you will accept it. And while that might work for children and animals, without conditions you will end up a doormat. When that happens your self-esteem can take serious hits... and if your self-esteem and self-worth are back with your ex... you will likely find reasons to return and feel incomplete without them.