How To Date Without Playing Games

Can we just stop with all the dating games, please?

With all the dating horror stories and myths out there, it's no wonder why dating has become so barrier-centered. Almost everyone’s got their walls built high, tight and locked to protect their feelings and even more so, their egos. And somehow, over time, people have gotten the idea that the best way to build these wall is to create delayed communication periods for new dates. How did this dating rule begin, exactly? Did a bunch of people get together and decide that a 3 day waiting period is the way to a person’s heart?

The 3 Day Rule

Let's first explore the logic behind the 3 day waiting period. It has often been said that when a person waits 3 days before contacting their date, they have established an aura of mystery and intrigue. While this may work on some, in most cases, you’ll only come across as offensive and careless rather than exciting.

This rule is especially problematic when your date didn't feel chemistry with you in the first place. In this case, your little waiting periods would only make you disappear I a pool of other options. Hence, the reality of dating, folks! There’s really no room for games here.  So, instead of ignoring a person you like, because you’re pretending to be busy and desirable, pick up the phone and act like a grown up!

Forget about everything you’ve heard…

When you leave the games behind, you invite more opportunities to connect with matches on a deeper level. It’s all about law of attraction—if you are genuinely open to positive interactions, you will exude that energy, and attract your desires.


There’s also a special vulnerability that comes with being receptive and available to potentially meaningful dating experiences. And while that can be scary, and possible disappointing, it must happen in order to free your heart to love. Otherwise there's no risk involved, which means no romance. So, the next time you find yourself thinking about a person after an amazing date, call them the very next day. No waiting games, please.

Understandably, however, it may be tempting to play games if you’re browsing for love on a dating app. Online dating can be a fickle environment to find love, making people particularly disposed to building their highest walls. But don’t give in to this charade. Apps like Tinder are notorious for being filled with careless date collectors, but you can try your luck on apps like WhoWinkedMe or LunchMeet, which focus on dating with integrity. Ultimately, it helps to meet people in the right context in order to date with a positive mindset.

A Balance of Love And and Chase

Keep in mind that ending the games doesn’t mean abandoning all self-control. This means you shouldn’t start calling them incessantly or sending overly sappy love messages 247. There should be an appropriate balance between chasing and withholding.

For example, there’s is a different between waiting an hour to respond to a text and waiting a whole week (as many have sadly experienced). When you’re able to find this balanced approach to dating, you’ll be happier and more successful in the dating world.

Realistically, even if you make some mistakes along the way, a person won’t get turned off is they’re genuinely into you. But you have the courage to make yourself emotionally available in order to pave the way for true chemistry to unravel.

Remember that dating does not have to be a competition of wills. Everyone needs to let their guard down to an extent to invite romance into their lives. Besides, anything worth having comes with a little risk, right?