Ask Charles: "He wanted a second date... then disappeared!"

Dear Charles: 

I went on a first date with a guy and I thought it went well, he texted me about an hour later and asked if we could get together again and I said I'd like that. we playfully chatted via texting for a few hours that same day. One week later I haven't heard a thing from him. Why did he ask for a second date and not set anything up if he wasn't interested?!? 

—Judy

 

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Dear Judy: 

First dates offer you a glimpse of the person... but you don't really know them; you just have an impression — and they have one of you. There's no telling what was going on behind the scenes for him: Multiple dates with multiple people, just out of a prior relationship, busy work schedule, family issue... there's no knowing. The fact that he didn't get back in-touch after putting in the beginnings of effort, however, is a red flag. If he's going to say one thing and then do another, it sounds like he's done you a favor is dropping back. After all... it just takes a moment to communicate if something has changed for him.

 


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